February 7th, 2012

Today is February 7th, 2012.


This post is dedicated to my beloved Father in heaven. I hope you can feel what i feel Dad.

It's 10 days before 10th years my father passed away. Live without the role model as a boys is kind of the hardest thing in my life. Pretend and deal with things that never had before is like people who can't swim but they have to swim in the ocean.

My father is the best father in the world, like every children describe they parents. He always know when his children brithday, taking care when sunday school, buying the best present for family, cooking like professional chef at home, huging with his warm hands. (I'm crying)

Everyone always says that My Father is happy with my achievement, yes i know it well for sure. But, now i just need my father for sharing and listening his advice to me. I need his care and love.

Dad, you know who much i miss you. how much i love you. how much i want to hug you. Now, only this post that i can write to you. Could you come to my dream everynight, i want it so badly.

I love you Dad :)

With love,


Dhaniel Tumpal Fernando
Your Son

Should I?

Been so long I dont write this blog. Busy? Maybe that's the min reason or I just in the good position in my life? Lol. I guess in in busy for my works, family, and my life.

But now I'm back? What for?
I just back for telling you that I'm not ok. (curhat)

Ok. Let's we start this post.

Should I?
I choose it for my title.

Probably I'm in the edge condition that force me to say what should I do what is I gonna do. Being person like me now isn't easy, many times that I already spend to create my self.

Meet the confidence, pride, and many more. But now I could see the passion of my life. Now I'm weak, down.

So irritating!
Should I feel with same feeling?
Should I know how big I am?
Should I go through this life?
Should I quit?
What SHOULD I do?

-dtf-

Long Time No See

Hei all,

How's your life?

Been good? or not?

Me, I've been so good.

I hope you too Guys.

Let's welcoming this Ramadhan with joy.

dtf

Tidak - Keluar

Selamat sore dunia,


Harapan orang dengan saya yang seperti ini adalah kestabilan emosional diri saya akan kehidupan karena banyak orang yang mengenal saya adalah orang yang kuat, tidak galau, apalagi melow. Jauh, bahkan jauh banget dari kehidupan yang tidak stabil.

TIDAK.

Tidak ternyata kehidupan jauh lebih tidak stabil dengan orang lain yang mengenal saya. Orang yang tidak stabil mungkin tepat untuk diri saya yang masih terpuruk dengan pandangan orang. Ditinggal, dibohongi, dihina, semuanya sudah pernah rasakan. Bodoh itu mungkin yang paling sering rasakan. Keadaan untuk merasa diakui oleh orang lain jarang dirasakan dan merasa dilihat oleh orang lain juga menjadi masalah yang ada. Saya memang butuh usaha keras untuk keluar dan melihat secara objektif tentang diri sendiri. Waktu demi waktu hal ini terus ada dan mempengaruhi hidup.

KELUAR.

Keluar mungkin kata yang terbaik untuk memperbaiki kehidupan saya. Keluar kemana? Jalan yang mana? Seperti apa? Ini yang pertama muncul dalam pikiran tanpa batas, keluar dari bayakng-bayang kebodohan seperti yang sekarang kah? Saat ini saya jawab IYA. Iya untuk keluar dari bayang ketidakmampuan diri sendiri. Melihat lebih dalam diri sendiri dan tetap mencari adalah satu langkah yang saya ambil. Jalan di jalan yang baru mungkin sulit bagi banyak orang tidak lainnya dengan saya yang merasa berbeda, aneh, bingung.

TIDAK dan KELUAR merupakan dua kata yang sangat berhubungan satu yang lain dalam diri saya. Tidak untuk mengatakan bahwa saya TIDAK kuat dan keluar untuk KELUAR dari keterpurukan. Tapi tanpa disadari saya memaknai dengan TIDAK KELUAR dari kehidupan yang dulu. LOL

dtf

from Bandung to Galau!

When you read the title, i guess you don't understand where Galau is. LOL.
Galau isn't a place but it's about what you feeling. Mixed by sadness, missing.

Let me write the story about to describe my title..

2 days ago i went to Bandung for my office event, Open Recruitment, located at ITENAS (Institut Teknologi Nasional). This is my second event to Bandung. Firstly, it's the same purpose i went to Bandung.

From Bandung..

I think this is the happiness from Bandung.
For the first time i had dinner with my BIG BOSS (means he is my big boss with the big size body. lol. sorry boss). we had quite dinner with him, why? because he is our big boss, we scared make a mistake (slip mouth).
Feel so sorry i can't share the picture. this is because my friend mistake, she don't want to take some pictures with my pocket camera.
Next day, the event is come. Wake up in early morning starting my day. 18 person hired by ANTV with many jobs skill.
2 days event make me so tired, happy, and sad. I'll back to Bandung on May, 28th.

To Galau..

I think this is the Galau form Bandung.
My lovely will going for a week to finish the thesis. A week is hard time for me. I can't meet my love for long time. Signal problem is the thing that make me more feeling sad. I can't reach all the time. I've never been like this with my love. We always could reach each other. Please come back soon Love. I really miss you.


dtf